I spent 20 minutes writing out my uncensored and not-so-nice feelings about my client’s team where “fuck this” and “bullshit” were heavily sprinkled.
Of course, the exercise was only meant for my eyes – to get the anger out so I could come to the table with an actual plan on how to fix things. I’m heavily invested in the companies I work with. Some would say far too much for something that isn’t mine.
The meeting started and I told him he needed to up his expectations of this team if we were going to move forward. That meant:
.. no more emailing out individual priority lists for virtual assistants each night when there’s a clean, clear, detailed project management system in place (a process I’ve been perfecting for over a decade, btw). It was time for the team to learn how to manage their own time based on the tasks, priorities, and due dates in the system.
.. no more secret meetings and pretending that I didn’t come up with an idea or plan because it was going to hurt the feelings of others who were not asked to attend.
.. no more accepting 3 hours’ worth of effort when they’re billing you for 8 hours of work and being OK with his team lying about their time and effort.
Me: Look, I’m good at my job, but I’m not exceptional. I procrastinate, sometimes I completely screw off, I make mistakes, I get mad. I don’t expect anyone to do any more than what I do. Show up, do your work, go home.
Client: Dawn, you need to lower your expectations.
Me: What? Absolutely not. That’s the opposite of what we’re trying to do with this team. YOU need to raise your expectations.
Client: You are exceptional at your job. What you think is the very least that you can do is more than most people are ever going to do. When you feel like you’re going an extra inch for this company, you’re actually going an extra mile. I would love for our team to have more people like you, but right now, we don’t. You can’t expect them to do the same things you do.
Suddenly I was incredibly uncomfortable. I couldn’t acknowledge and accept this new thought – it felt like bragging.
I’m not better than anyone else. I’ve failed far too many times to be considered “exceptional”.
- I nearly lost my virtual assistance business when I first started out. I was working with a well-known client that was singing my praises and I had a flood of new customers that I couldn’t keep up with. That client ended up taking down any stitch of website history that we had ever worked together. It was that bad.
- One of my very first VA gigs came back with a list of things I should have done in his data entry project. It wasn’t constructive criticism. He just shit all over me.
- Clients have rejected my business proposals more than I care to admit and clients that have blamed me for their poor business practices.
I sat with this for a really long time. I started seeing more patterns…
- I get frustrated with my kid because I can’t get him to do the bare minimum. But is it really the bare minimum or is it MY bare minimum? He’s doing less work in school than I ever did and he’s got better grades. Maybe you should close y’er trap mom.
- I get frustrated when my former housemates who wake up, go to work, come home, wait for me to make dinner, and then rest for the remainder of the night get worked up over having to do one or two extra things sometime in the next week … because I’ve been doing all of those and more every day. But is it realistic to think that everyone is going to be able to do what I do? They’re giving it their best shot just like I am.
What does this all have to do with you?
Glad you asked.
And no this isn’t some esoteric revelation.
You want to know how you can stand out in a crowd of people just like you selling exactly what you’re selling.
… how does a network marketer stand out when everyone has the same catalogue?
… how does a graphic designer stand out from others who are just as good (and sometimes better) than they are?
… how does a _______ stand out from everyone when they’re just starting out?
The line between good and exceptional isn’t always an unsurpassable canyon. It’s just 1% more than anyone else is doing.
My local decor shop does this every year by physically mailing me a birthday card that doubles as a $20 gift card for their store.
My babysitter did this when she washed all the dishes for me one night.
The scrapbooking store I buy from online does this when they send me a little freebie and a Werthers candy.
The lady who makes the gnomes I love so much does this when she wraps each one in tissue with a thank you sticker on the outside and a “whew, hurry up I can’t breathe in here” sticker on the inside. It makes unwrapping that little treasure all the more special.
Babes. You don’t have to be the best of the best of the best. But how are you standing out by doing just 1% more than anyone else when it comes to your business?
